


Ever Since You

by FantasylandwithZee



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gay, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-14 10:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17507261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasylandwithZee/pseuds/FantasylandwithZee
Summary: Zayn and Harry are always three thousand miles away...





	Ever Since You

**"I really miss you. J-Just come, for at least one day please Z."**

Zayn brushes a shaky hand in his hair, his finger getting tangled in a knot. There are bags under his eyes and his drinking is just getting worse. 

His heart aches to embrace Harry, his feelings overflowing in his veins.  _"I miss you too babe, but my dad won't let me leave. He's keeping an eye on me 24/7."_

**"Is it always gonna be like this Zayn? You being afraid and dragging me along?"**

And Harry was tired of waiting. He knew he had chosen this, to be hidden away, to be Zayn's little dirty secret. Zayn had warned him countless times but it still didn't make it hurt any less. Sometimes they would go a full year without touching each other, not even a kiss or a hug. Who wouldn't be frustrated with such life?

_"Yeah and you're just gonna say that now Har? you're gonna blame me for it all? I told you I wasn't the one for you."_

Harry sighed exhausted. He didn't mean to hurt Zayn, he didn't mean to say anything at all like that. He just wanted to see his face after two months and now he ruined it by being careless and insensitive.

Zayn inhaled shakily as he looked away, a lump forming in his throat. His fingers trembled as the silence stretched between them so uncomfortably. This was all because of him. If only he didn't fear his father so much. But it wasn't even about fear completely. His father was the only family Zayn had and he couldn't lose him. If he had to sacrifice himself for that, he would.

 **"I'm sorry."** He paused for a moment, watching as Zayn's camera faced the ceiling for a moment before it showed his face again, now with puffy eyes. He had his jaw clenched and Harry knew it was due to controlling himself. Harry knew it was because Zayn didn't like to cry.  **"Can I come there then? Just ten minutes."**

And Zayn didn't want to say no. He needed to see Harry just as much as Harry needed to see him too. Just a touch, a balmy embrace from his curly boyfriend. It'd make the pain go away.

_"Of course."_

🖤

A month later Zayn rushed his car through the streets, constantly checking his clock and cursing at the slow drivers. _"Fucking hell!"_

When he finally parked his car he ran inside the airport, bumping into people and repeatedly apologising. His hair was a dishevelled mess, heart in his mouth as his searched for Harry.

The world stopped when they did cross their eyes. Zayn heaved out a sob and Harry raced to Zayn, legs around his waist and arms on his shoulders. Zayn stumbled back but balanced himself nonetheless, relishing on his lover's touch. He wanted to swim in this love forever, dive in and dive out.

Harry hated his tears too. They would come out without permission and roll down his cheeks and make everyone sad too. He didn't want to make Zayn sad. Not now that they were in each other's arms and the time had taken a pause to last their meeting.

 **"I missed you, I missed you, I love you. So so so much! God...Zayn I missed you so bad!"** He repeated in between kisses, everywhere his lips could reach. Three on the forehead, two on the side of his head, countless on his neck and jaw. 

Only God knew how much he longed for this. Only God knew the ardour, the agony of not having Zayn's body next to him. Hugging the pillow and swallowing pills as he drowned in self-pity.

And indeed, only God knew what he was feeling at this very moment, their tears mixing and their bodies on each other.

 _"I missed you too angel. Fuck...I'm so sorry! I tried yesterday."_ He said in between choked breaths, setting Harry down on his feet. Zayn rubbed his face with his hands, trying to tame his wild heart.

Harry looked at him with such understanding and passion, it made Zayn's heart weep in shades of red.

_"I tried so many times Har. Yesterday and the day before and the day before that. I went to his room and I sat with him for hours but I couldn't...I couldn't tell him. I said, Dad I've got something to tell you, and he would just look at me with such panic...I'm so sorry! I'm fucking useless."_

Harry shook his head cupping Zayn's face in his hands.  **"I don't care. I don't give a damn. I'll stay like this with you forever and beyond. I'm sorry for making you feel useless. I get you, I understand you. I won't ever force you to do something you're not ready for. I love you. I just want your love. Just your love."**

Zayn nodded reluctantly, pulling Harry closer by his waist and pressing his lips to Harry's. It was like sudden flight. It happened everytime they kissed, the heat, the flying to the moon, the butterflies and the sparks and the chills down their spine. Harry sighed into Zayn's mouth and Zayn's tongue peeked out from between his lips, tracing Harry's lips for a moment before sliding inside his hot mouth. He explored him slow and lazy, taking all the time in the world. He just wanted this moment to last forever. 

He craved infinity. The immortality. The having-so-much-time you could drown in it and still come out alive. They would have so much time then, to touch each other more than just blushing fingertips and rosey eye contacts. They could do it all and Zayn would have the strength one day, to tell the truth, to shout it out to the world on top of a mountain. One day that wouldn't be too late.

When they broke the kiss, Harry's cheeks were a beautiful pink and his lips slightly swollen. Zayn smiled at his state and pecked him again before taking the suitcase from Harry's side and rolling it along outside. They intertwined their hands though Zayn felt paranoid. Anyone could see them. What if one of his dad's friends saw him? Nonetheless he didn't let it show. He couldn't deny Harry of even this.

They entered Harry's hotel, asking for the number of his room before quietly heading there. Harry seemed tired maybe due to jetlag so Zayn let him fall asleep with his head on Zayn's shoulder and his hand on his stomach. 

Zayn occupied himself with some YouTube meanwhile, while hearing Harry's light snores. Sometimes he would stir and hug Zayn closer and the raven man felt so in love with his boyfriend...it was unbelievable. He hadn't felt so deeply about anyone before. 

His phone screen lit up then, making his heart race a thousand miles per second. He bit his lip and picked the device up, debating all along if he should read his dad's text or not.

 

 

> where are you?

He swallowed down a lump in his throat and racked through his brain for an excuse of his absence. What could he tell him?

 

 

> I'm not coming home tonight.

And when his dad asked Zayn why not, the latter left him on seen. He didn't know why he couldn't make up an excuse. He had lied so many times in the past why not now? 

Maybe it was because Harry was here pulling him closer and muttering his name every other minute.

Zayn switched his phone off, ridding himself of all the bad thoughts and placed it on the bedside table. He lied down next to Harry, adjusting the sheets over their bodies as he too, fell asleep.

🖤

A few hours later, when the sun was already going down Harry woke up, his forehead pressed to the part where Zayn's throat met his chest, and his eyelashes brushed featherly against Zayn's chest. 

Harry smiled at the way their legs were tangled and how tight Zayn held him and how close they were. He hadn't looked at Zayn's sleeping face yet but he could imagine it so vividly. Imagination was all he had for company when they didn't see each other, which was perhaps the entirety of their relationship. 

Except for those one or two days when they visited each other, but the minutes flew away and in the blink of an eye, they would be back to their lonely houses and empty bottles of liquor.

A few minutes later Zayn stirred and rubbed his eyes with his fisted hand, peeking through his lids at the smiling figure laying next to him. He smiled back, pulling him closer even though they didn't have a single gap left in between them anyways. 

_"I love you."_

**"I love you too."**

🖤

 **"Harder Z please!"** Harry pleaded, fingers digging into Zayn's shoulder blades.

The curtains were apart but at that moment, when the air smelled of ardent love and the walls glowed and the light seemed a little brighter than before, they didn't care. The world could be seeing them and they wouldn't give a damn.

Zayn groaned and thrusted in again, hard and fast, fucking in and out relentlessly. It was oblivion. They hadn't been intimate with each other for so long that now it was all pouring out. And none of them wanted to release so quick though they were so desperate, so uncontrollable. It needed to last. It needed to last for hours before they had to leave each other again, and the aftermath of the sex needed to linger on their bodies until they met again. It needed to.

They kissed breathlessly for so long, more teeth than tongue, more love than lust, more soul than body.

Zayn shifted Harry's legs from his waist to his shoulders, finding a different angle that made Harry scream due to the renewed pleasure. Just a Zayn leaving his mouth, his thoughts consumed only by Zayn.

There was a knock on the door and Zayn slowed hesitantly, looking towards the door as Harry caught his breath. 

"I'm sorry sir but other clients are getting disturbed with the noises. Please keep it down. Thank you." 

Zayn and Harry exchanged a look, both smirking as Zayn leaned close to his ear and whispering. _"What do you say, should we piss them off?"_

Harry chuckled breathily. **"They're never gonna let us in again but...why not?!"**

And it all started again. They weren't even trying to be loud, it was something natural. When it came to pleasure they were either dead silent, or loud as hell. 

🖤

Zayn wrapped the sheets around their naked forms as both stood in front of the window, facing out. Harry could feel Zayn's lazy heartbeat against his back, his arms around his stomach, face on his shoulders, lips on his neck. His kisses tickled Harry and he would pull away a little but Zayn would follow and chuckle against his skin. They felt like little giggly teenagers having their first discovery of love, so ridiculously infatuated with each other. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves, not that they even wanted to in the first place. It was one in the morning and sleep was far from reach.

Harry laughed and told Zayn to stop tickle-kissing him but Zayn just breathed out a sweet "never", tightening his grip around Harry's pale form.

The moon hung in front of them, full and the sky was clear with twinkling stars making it all seem that much more breathtaking. It was almost as if they were out to witness their love. 

🖤

Again on the bed, Zayn let his fingers tangle in Harry's, both men gazing into each other's eyes so lovingly. He wanted to make love to Harry once more, his hands itched and his eyelids fluttered, his lips quivered in need. But he didn't want to ruin this peaceful moment.

Zayn could see so crustally clear how much in love Harry was with him and he hoped, Harry could see Zayn holding the same intensity of love too if not more.

 _"Har?"_ He asked quietly, a thought running in his head.

 **"Hmm?"** The latter replied as he traced patterns on Zayn's hip.

 _"Can you come with me?"_ Harry furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not saying anything but asking a million questions.  _" To my dad. I don't know why I never thought about it before...but maybe if you're there...to hold me...I'll be able to-I'll be able to say it to him. I can't let you leave this time. I don't know. I feel like...I feel like the time is right, but I just...I just need you to be there by my side."_

Harry's expression softened. His hand caressed Zayn's cheek softly as he thought about what his lover just said.

**"Babe are you sure you want to?"**

Zayn nodded his head in assent, saying he had to, that he wanted to. How could Harry deny him that? How could he say no? Zayn was just afraid. Harry knew what it was like to be afraid and now his boyfriend wanted to face his fear and of course, Harry wouldn't leave him alone now. 

🖤

Zayn turned his phone on again and frowned when he say five messages from an unknown number. He disentangled himself from Harry's arms and sat up, leaning against the headboard. 

It was four pictures and a video, still loading so he waited a few seconds before they were done, and oh how he wished he had never picked up his phone. At least then he wouldn't have to see  _this._

His heart climbed to his throat, clogging his speech and he didn't know how to feel. The device was long gone, hands shaking as he looked at Harry, sleeping peacefully next to him with no sign of troubled on his forehead.

Was he supposed to feel angry? or sad? Or was he supposed to leave now and never come back? Was he supposed to wake Harry up and yell at him and tell him to go? 

He had never loved anyone was intensely as he had loved Harry and so it was hard to believe those pictures of him, body intertwined with someone else's, lip locked and shamelessly naked. Doing the cheating and the unfaithfulness as all thoughts of his boyfriend disappeared in a flash. 

How hard did that guy thrust into him? That was all Zayn wanted to know. He wanted to know how many kisses they shared and where they fucked each other. He wanted to know if Harry let that blonde man kiss the mole on his back, or run a finger down his spine, or bath him after the sex. Everything that Zayn did, everything that Harry promised only Zayn could do.

Harry opened his eyes then, frowning when he saw Zayn watching him with an indecipherable expression.

**"What's wrong?"**

He must have asked that more than once but all Zayn could hear was a piercing noise that he couldn't name. All he could see was Harry with someone else, doing everything that he felt he was the only that could do.

All these years Zayn thought he was special.

Harry started panicking at Zayn's unresponsiveness, shaking him in an attempt to bring him back to life. He repeated "wake up", yelled at him to stop scaring the fuck out of him but for minutes all he received was silence.

Until Zayn finally spoke.  _"Where did he fuck you?_

Harry's heart stopped beating temporarily, his throat dry. He didnt expect Zayn to ask about It, he could swear he was going to tell Zayn anytime now. But the sweetness of their love clouded all his sensibility. When he said he understood what it was like to be scared, he really meant it. He knew what it was like to be scared. He was scared of losing Zayn.

It was a mindless action, something that jumped at a random man in drunk state. He didn't mean to cheat on Zayn. He wasn't unfaithful on purpose.

**"Zayn that-that was a m-mistake. I didn't mean to...I was d-drunk and I-I thought it was you and-"**

_"Bullshit! Where did he fuck you and how many times Harreh?"_  Zayn couldn't wrap his head around it all. When did all this happen. He let Harry slip between his fingers and didn't even notice the absence. 

He was seething, angry not at Harry but himself because if he hadn't been so damn scared, if he had been a little quicker maybe Harry wouldn't have done it. Maybe the heart break wouldn't have happened. But now it had happened and it felt like suffocation. The air itself had ran out of oxygen.

**"Zayn I promise it was m-mindless. I-I didn't feel anything, I...I love you and only you."**

_"Stop It!"_  Zayn scooted closer, holding Harry's arm tightly as he breathed deeply for a few moments. He observed Harry's teary emeralds. There was still love there. There was. But wasn't love supposed to make you loyal? Wasn't love all about trust? What happened?  _"You lost trust in me. You thought I was never coming back because I was and still am a damn coward, so you went out and found the first man that could shove a dick down your throat and not hide it from everyone else!"_

He knew he was crossing the line, he knew Harry was faithful. it was all his fault. He should have been braver. He should have been able to stop Harry.

Harry shook his head as endless tears rolled down his cheeks and he tried to hold Zayn's face but the latter swatted his hand away, his nails digging into Harry's flesh. This was worse than all those nights he spent crying for just a little touch from Zayn. This was worse than loneliness. He had just broken Zayn completely. 

 **"Th-that's not true Z. Please hear me out. I didn't lose hope in you, I was just acting selfish and immature. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry! Please Zayn!"** He released himself from Zayn's grip and pulled him close in an embrace, holding him tight so he wouldn't leave. He whispered a millions sorrys and Zayn cried a million tears before he finally leaned away, and pushed Harry back.  **"Zayn!"** Harry cried out.

Zayn wiped his tears away, feeling so completely shattered that he didn't even know which emotion was dominating him more right now. Maybe it was anger.

He stood up, looking for his clothes as he rubbed his arms like they were filthy now. Every touch of Harry's was now a curse on him, a reminder that he was never enough.

Pulling his boxers up followed by his pants he began looking for his shirt, Harry's protests echoing in the room. They surely had pissed off the neighbours today. 

Harry's hand grabbed Zayn's elbow, his eyes crying blood.  **"Zayn please no. Please don't leave me. I swear I was gonna tell you but I was so scared you would leave me! Please Zayn!"**

Zayn shook his head. As much as his heart ached at the sight of a desperate and distraught Harry, he really couldn't stay here. This room reeked too much of unfaithfulness.

He remembered in that moment his dad saying, "Love isn't wonderful Zayn. It's a never ending maze. Once you get in, you'll never find a way out." He realizes now that he was just protecting Zayn all along. From heartbreak because it sure did hurt. Hurt so much that all he wanted to do right this moment was jump out the window.

 _"I can't. I can't stay here with you anymore."_ He picked up his phone from the floor, swiping the screen. He opened the video where Harry is on his fours and the blonde man is fucking into him. The pleasure is rippling out of the screen. Zayn thought he was special...Holding Harry's trembling hand he placed the phone on Harry's palm, the video still playing, the noises filling the room.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut at the sight, more tears flowing out. His head felt heavy on his body.

_"Watch this and then try to stop me."_

And Harry watched it. And the protests never sounded again.

🖤

 Funny how a night could change everything. One night, one hour could ruin you for the rest of your life.

That night Zayn left with a heavy heart and he sobbed onto his dad's embrace and he spilled it all out. He was gay and he loved a man called Harry who had the most stunning green eyes, and charming dimples on his cheeks. He was so in love with a man who had been there for him for years but didn't feel satisfied with him. Harry didn't feel satisfied with Zayn because they were always three thousand miles away, and so he went and found a man that could take his loneliness away. Harry wasn't unfaithful. Zayn was.

No matter how many times his father reassured him that it wasn't his fault, Zayn kept beating himself up regardless. 

He was an insomniac now, deep in the woods of deppression with no way out. His eyes burnt when they stayed open but they screamed when he closed them. It was a constant battle. Locked in his room for hours with nothing to eat and all his father could do was watch. He watched for a year then two, then three as his son slowly and painfully spiralled out of control.

He escaped to wonderland whenever it all got too much. He behaved like a little child, asking for toys and for someone to play with him, and his father would do it all. Painstakingly. He was on a desperate search for this Harry guy, then only one he believed could help Zayn get better. Little did he know Harry wasn't any less miserable too.

It was the hundred and fourth time Harry had self harmed today. The toilets were stained red. He had been counting. He had a diary where he would keep a count of how many times he picked up a razer  and burst a vein. Last year, he swallowed way too many sleeping pills  because he couldn't sleep. He was so exhausted, he just wanted to sleep! But the guilt weighed down on him so much  and the flashes of that stranger thrusting into him mixed with Zayn's pained face, wouldn't let him a moment of peace. He was cursed. 

There were too many people around him that saved him. He swallowed too many pills and he swore he saw the final light. He swore  he was going to die. But there were too many people around him that saved him.

 **"Let me die! I want to die! I want to sleep. Let me sleep for God's sake."** He shouted at everyone that had gathered in the toilet. He just wanted some peace. His mother and Gemma were holding him up as he thrashed around. Another thing to feel remorseful for. He was making them go through so much. **"I want to sleep goddammit. Leave me alone**! 

🖤

Harry was playing with a spider in the corner of the room, teasing the little creature by shaking his web. He laughed whenever the spider would move, laughed even more when it fell down on the floor. 

His hair was a complete bird's nest, coal black circles under his eyes and he had thinned so much. His lips were teared like paper and his eyes were forever bottomless.

Anyways, he was playing with that spider when the phone rang. It rang once and then twice and again before Gemma finally picked it up.

Harry didn't turn to see or hear anything. He was too busy watching the spider climb back up the wall. 

"H-Harry?" Gemma's voice cracked. He simply hummed, not bothering, not noticing Gemma's aching silence. "Harry!" 

He finally turned around huffing. " **What?!"**

"It's...It's Zayn's dad." 

It took Harry a moment to digest It, to realise what it all meant. He had almost forgotten how Zayn's name sounded. " **What?!"** He asked quietly, his heart erratic. 

He rushed over to the phone, snatching it from Gemma's hand and pressing it to his ear. **"H-Hello? Hello Zayn's dad! I promise I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't want to hurt him. Can you hear me mister?! It was my voice coming out alright? Wait let me find a quiet place. I promise, Zayn's dad, I promise I love him. I always did. I promise. Zayn's dad, why won't you say anything. Is he alright? Is he okay? Has he moved on? Zayn's dad can you hear me goddammit?!"**

Zayn's father sighed, realizing that Harry was just as miserable as his son was. This break up had messed with both of them too bad. Yes he didn't agree with their relationship  before, yes he told Zayn never to meet Harry ever again, but it was to save him from this very heartbreak. They lived in New York and Harry lived in London. Distance relationships never worked out. He had said that from experience.

But all he ended up doing was break not only his son but someone else's  too, and he would never forgive himself for that.

"You aren't letting me talk Harry." Harry muttered  an ow  and quietened down. "Would you like to see him?" 

Harry's heart jumped out of his mouth. See him? Now? What was he going to say to him? 

" **Please."**

**🖤**

He took a long hot shower to soothe his nerves, brushing his teeth twice and ironing his clothes again and again. Everytime there was a little crease on his shirt he would take it off and iron it again. Gemma and his mother would just watch him silently in torment.

When he got out  of his car to enter the airport, everything came rushing back to him. Their reunion, the hotel, the fucking and the fighting and the cheating and the the pain. His heart lost a beat that moment. He turned around, ready to go back home and drown in his blankets and never resurface again.

But Gemma stopped him, holding his arms and cradling him to her chest. She spoke soothing words into his hear, encouraged him and gave him much needed love. 

🖤

"Good afternoon Harry. I hope the journey  was alright." Yaser spoke in a soft voice. 

Harry nodded, his head hanging low, eyes set on his feet. He didn't know why but he was scared to look into the man's eyes. Harry's fingers twitched and his heart rate increased. He just wanted to see his beautiful Zayn.

"I know you want to see him and I know you're suffering too. But I need to tell you a few things about him. He's changed Harry. He's not the man he used to be." 

If he could Harry would cover his eyes. Why would he ever want to know how much Zayn had suffered? The guilt was already too heavy on him. He wondered how he hadn't been buried underneath it yet.

"Harry I can see your agony. I don't mean to burden you with more but it is necessary. He went into severe deppression when you left. One thing lead to another and he couldn't sleep anymore. No amount of medication allowed him a moment of sleep. He stayed awake the whole day, the whole night. It kept getting worse. He's just...childlike now. He plays with actual toys and thinks he's max six years old . His treatment is on going and but it feels like his mind is shutting everyone off. He isn't cooperating with them. That's why I called you here Harry. I believe you can help him." 

Harry felt like the sky had fallen onto his shoulders. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole, wanted to die so bad right there and then. The tears fell down his cheeks and jumped to the floor, his mouth gasping for a breath.

 **"I-I'm  sorry."** He whispered.

Yaser shook his head in mild sympathy, walking over to Harry and squeezing his shoulder. "I just want my son back Harry. Please help me." 

🖤

The whole world seemed to spinning around Harry, everything running and racing while he was stuck here in front of this door. He could hear the sound of shuffling and something falling on the floor, but he couldn't bring himself to turn the knob.

His cheeks were still wet and his eyes still cast downward, body trembling.

Yaser pulled him to his chest in the most fatherly way Harry had ever felt. He clinged  onto the man for dear life, sobbing his life out through endeless tears and million pieces of his heart.

The door opened behing them and Harry fisted his hands  on the man's shirt. He was so scared, so nervous, so burdened. He couldn't look Zayn in the eyes yet. No he couldn't.

_"Daddy you said you would play with me!"_

Harry's heart ached at Zayn's childish voice. He had lost his rawness, had lost his life. And Yaser smiled at Zayn, slowly trying to get Harry off him. "I'm so sorry darling, but look who I brought?"

Zayn pouted, crossing his arms across his chest as he watched his dad holding someone other than him. It made him feel a little jealous. Daddy was supposed to be his.

" _Who is he?"_

Yaser chuckled at Zayn's antics and finally succeeded in turning Harry around to face Zayn.

Harry covered his mouth as soon as his eyes met Zayn's. He looked okay, he looked fine but inside he knew what the reality was. Zayn's truly wasn't himself anymore, and to know it was all because of Harry...

" _Why is he crying Daddy? Does he want a chocolate? I have five chocolates. Hey curly man, do you want a chocolate?"_

Harry shook his head painstakingly, taking a few steps closer to Zayn. The latter looked hesitant, but didn't stop the curly man from placing his shaky hands on Zayn's cheeks.

Harry bit his lip, not finding any trace of recognition on Zayn's face. His heart was aflame, scorching his insides  and truly anything would be better than this. Hell.. he wanted to die.

**"Zayn...Zayn, oh Zayn. It's me baby. Don't you remember me?"**

**🖤**

Harry pushed Zayn's hair away from his face as he watched the latter sleep peacefully. He had his thumb in his mouth as he unconsciously sucked on it.

He was getting better. At least that's what Yaser told him and the doctors too. It had been six months since Harry was here living with Zayn, taking care of him day and night. Out of love. And maybe out of compensation too. If he ruined Zayn, he would piece him back together too.

Zayn wasn't much childish anymore  and he remembered flashes of Harry from the good days...Hell  they even had kissed  once because Zayn had told him he had dreamed Harry was kissing him. But he didn't remember that night yet and Harry's toes curled in anticipation. 

Zayn stirred in his sleep muttering some incoherent words before opening his eyes. He continued sucking on his thumb before he realised Harry was watching him, and the with crimson on his cheeks he shyly took it out is his mouth. 

Harry smiled and kissed Zayn on the forehead, caressing his cheek. "Are you hungry love?" Zayn nodded, eyes widening in excitement.

_"I want...ehm..I want pizzaaaaaa."_

**"For breakfast?"**

_"Pwease!"_

**"Okay okay, but go and freshen up now and I'll order it yeah?!"**

Zayn instantly jumped out of the bed and ran towards the bathroom, chanting pizza again and again like a mantra. Harry chuckled and made his way downstairs where Yaser  was sat having his breakfast.

"Did he wake up?"

 **"Yup and he wants pizza for breakfast."** They both laughed light-heartedly, making small conversation while waiting for the pizza.

When it got delivered Harry called Zayn downstairs but minutes passed and the raven man didn't come, so he went upstairs to call him.

He opened the door and saw Zayn sat on the edge of the bed, face in his hands.  **"Zayn?!"**

Zayn immediately looked up and it just took a few seconds for him to recognize this was his Harry. It was his Harry. The one that loved him. The one from all those years ago. He teared up, standing up and running to Harry to take him into his arms. He was in the shower. He remembered it all. That night  and the nights before that one.

" _H-Harreh! God Harreh how much i missed you! Harreh, Harreh, Harreh..."_

Harry stopped breathing, his breaths stuck in his throat. His whole body tremored like he had just found light at the end of the tunnel. Refreshing, new and hopeful. He hadn't felt like that in such a long time.

**"D-don't stop. Zayn, fuck Zayn, keep saying my name like that. Please. I love you so fucking much. Please don't stop!"**

_"HarrehHarrehHarreh ...I told him everything Harreh. I told him I love you. We don't have to hide anymore. I promise I told him. Please don't leave me. Harreh, please Harreh!"_ **  
**

Harry hugged Zayn back so tightly, the sound of his name from Zayn sounded like music to his ears. He was at peace. He was finally at peace.

**"Never. Never. I'm so sorry Z. I'm so sorry."**

**🖤**

_*two years later*_

Harry rolled  around on the bed to see Zayn's beautiful face. His habit of sucking on his thumb never went away but Harry liked it like that. It was adorable. 

He slowly stood up from the bed and freshened up before heading over to Luka's  room. Luka was their lovely son they had adopted a year ago together. He was about fifteen now  with light brown hair and copper eyes that reminded Harry so much of Zayn.

He woke him up to get ready for school and worked on making breakfast for him. Luka  had grown so attached to both of them, though he resented his biological parents for leaving him to fend for himself. Zayn was his favourite though, he didn't know why. He just seemed to click  with Zayn.

Every morning, before getting out of the house to go to school he would tip toe to his parents bedroom and leave a light kiss on Zayn's forehead.  He was so thankful for these two men for changing his life for the better. He didn't care that some students in school teased him for having two dads . He didn't give a fuck because these two dads were the best parents anyone could ever have.

After Luka  was out Harry went back to bed, snuggling into Zayn's warm  embrace. The latter groaned in displeasure for disturbing him in his sleep, before sneaking an arm around Harry's waist and pulling him closer.

🖤

** _Never doubt I love.._ **


End file.
